Fat girls

I was singing along to a Colby O'Donis song while on my way to work today without realizing that I knew the lyrics by hard. Just as I was wondering how the lyrics retained in my brain matter, I realized the incriminating words that typically make people like me, obsessed about weight.

It's a women's thing, whenever anything goes wrong, blame it on the fats, blame it on the way you look, or the few extra holiday pounds that you've gained. It's never about the self and the character or the attitude. For most women, we blame it on our physique. But ahh, how can we not? With all the super models as women ambassadors for any product made FOR women, its only normal that we compare ourselves to them. If models can make sanitary pads look sexy, can you really blame us for always wanting to look like them? Every single ad that is made for women, is anchored by a lean tall, or petite size zero well toned model. What happened to the average plain janes around. There is some truth in it after all, that fat girls don't get loved.

And then there are the songs, where bodily images are constantly being stuffed into our faces. Where men are singing about being in love with a women's "fit" body, instead of loving a woman's soul. No one talks about the pretty faces, or the soulful eyes behind the thick framed glasses. Truth is, in real life, Betty Suarez would not be hired by a fashion publishing company, not even as the pantry lady.

This brings back painful childhood memories when I was a plump kid. I remember discovering my feelings for the other sex as early as 13 years old. But i never dared to approach him because I was fat, and he was all that with awesome McDreamy hair. Eventually when we did start talking and became friends, I found him falling for me. No lah, I wasn't syiok sendiri. Girls always know. Especially at that tender age, if some boy wasn't into you, he wouldn't even be your hang-out-friend (unless a closeted gay). He would be the one throwing water balloons at you from the top of the stairs or trying to trip you when you walked past, if he wasn't remotely drooling or fantasizing over you.As much as men would deny at all cost, I'm pretty sure that in their lifetime, they have fallen for at least one fat girl and have been too embarassed to admit it, let alone to pursue it. High school can be a dark and cruel place after all.

So back to my McDreamy, we started hanging out alot. He being in the next class, he would scoot over in between breaks to ask me how my day was. It didn't take long until envious fat/loser/nerdy girls started being envious of me, and hot skimpy skirt girls started teasing us out of malice. Soon enough, we started to grow apart. All the teasing made me embbarassed, but not as embarrassed as he would have been. He was the hot jock and instead of hanging around sluty hot schoolgirls, he was spending all his time with me. Long story short, he told me he couldn't be friends with me because people were talking.WTF.. But yeah, me heart broken, him not being any less miserable, we disowned our blooming friendship because I was fat.

Over the years, I thought long and hard over this. Yes i''ve gotten over him 15 years ago. But I always wondered if it was me, or really just my weight. It seemed to verify my theory eventually when he bumped into me 2 years after I was in college, and his first words were "You look great! Hey maybe we should exchange numbers". I remember the hurt floating back and the anger suffocating me, the screaming and I eventually stomped off leaving him dumbfounded.

Moral of story is, its a harsh world out there. Very few people fall in love with you. They fall in love with the tangible side of you, your looks, your weight. Thats why people find it hard to find soul mates. If you are not that skinny lanky lass, chances are you're getting left-overs. Harsh, but nothing but the truth..