Guarding Heirloom recipes

Picture taken from: Nyonyafood.rasamalaysia.com 

Just try. GO ahead and ask any old aunties or grannies that you know of, who are good at making a particular dish to impart their secrets to you. They WILL say yes and smile their sweetest smile. And it's either they won't tell you when they are intending to teach you, or prepare the ingredients partially before you arrive so that you can't gauge that secret ingredient that makes the dish wa-wa-woom! So who do you learn from? Your mom because she's the one who's most likely to share her deepest secrets of your family's heirloom recipes with you, well some moms can be weird too..

SO what is my favorite Nyonya dish? There's TONNES to choose from but there's one thing i hold very very dear to my heart. Those sun shinny pudding-like orange parcels with a robust whiff of spices and herbs that punch you in the nose the moment you open a real banana leaf parcel of otak otak!!!! And NO, if you think you know what i'm talking bout, you probably don't. Because being a food voyager myself, I have yet to come across otak otaks outside which taste anything close to the ones made in the nyonya kitchens.

Today, after 3 days of talking my mom into making otak otak for me, I woke up with a shock ( at 11am) thinking that Oh no, my mom's forgotten our "otak-otak classes". But lo and behold, she had sneakily started off without me. I ran and confronted her "Ahak" and stood there learning every thing that she did. The ingredients are not all that complex, but i have learnt that the little touches of preparation can make a vast difference in the taste of the dish. For instance,

1.Fresh Fresh Fresh
I was hyperventilating scourging the fridge. "Mommy!!! you didn't buy the herbs??" She just waved her hand in annoyance towards me like waving off a fly. Without a word, she took her scissors and walks into the garden. The bush of weeds i which was a sore eye to me all these while, were luscious aromatic herbs grown in my very own garden! She then progressed to the back of the house and starting cutting off some "Daun Kaduk". We had a HUGE patch of these rare herb in our garden too. So Mommy says, freshness cannot be compromised. You pluck a herb, and package it and wait to sell it, by the time you buy it, it is no longer as aromatic as it should have been.


2. Do it yourself.
Herbs, check! Fish, Check! Banana leaf, I watch dad walking over to my neighbour's house and cutting a big leaf, so errr, check! Then i realised, where the hell is the grated coconut in the fridge. SO i proceed to tell mom she forgot to buy coconut, and she says, "Ahh, dun worry lah, we got plenty behind". Apparently, my parents grate their own coconut. Some old people swear that coconuts  taste and yield better amount of milk when you grate it with a semi sharp grater, rather than machine grate it.

3. Can we start filling the parcels now?
Not yet, we have to soak the fish. WHAT?? Yes, at least 2 hours of soaking the fish and rempah together to ensure it comes together as "ONE" dish.

4. I caught mom burning banana leaves over the stove.
Apparently, if you heat the leaves up on the burning flame top of your stove, it will soften the leaves and prevent breakages. And the whole time, dad is annoying me with him "ubiquitous" knowledge on the history of how Nyonya food came about. *rolls eyes*

SO now to wait, while i go out to town, get myself a cuppa and come home in time to wrap em parcels!

How to Stay Single and Fabulous!

Granted I am not single, and have not been for the past 5 years. But I am not one of those who have jumped from one relationship into another. There was a hiatus in between my past relationships because in some way or another, i always believed that you need to spend time loving yourself, and re-evaluating what you truly want from a relationship if you just got out of one. There is really no point in making the same mistakes over and over isn't it? It's plain and simple, foolish.

So what does a woman who has been in a stable relationship for half a decade know about being single and fabulous? Not much from the "single lady's" point of view.  But i DO KNOW what turns attached women and single men off, when a single woman struts the wrong style, and walks the wrong talk. Let's face it, most, if not all single women intend to be friendless or single forever. Not many are single because they are determined to stay celibate, or because they like it that way, companion-less. So single ladies out there, here are a few things you might want to watch out for, because nobody really likes sour grapes!

1. Who needs Men.
Single women tend to lean dangerously towards feminism. It's nothing wrong with wanting equal rights as men and women. But it's not wuire right, when you want to be superior compared to men. That makes you the exact same breed as chauvinistic men all over the world. It's pretty understandable because most of them experienced abysmal relationships/cheating partners and men of all sorts. However, let's not generalize. Men can be pigs, but not all are pigs. Why would you tell a men that when you are obviously trying to impress him??

2. I love the freedom of being single.
When single friends tell me that, and points out the commitments i have towards my boyfriend and his family, I often wonder, how selfish can they get? Yes, we attached ladies are committed to spending time with our partners because we love doing it, not because we have no choice ( most at least ). Spending time with a loved one doesn't mean you only do it if you are attached. What about family and friends. And yes, long before men came into our lives, we were already taught the importance of family ties. Yes we may not have the luxury of kissing random men in the club, or bringing home one night stands, but clearly, we are happy with the absence of that luxury. So by pointing out your new found independence, you are only dissing those who are attached and passing a silent judgement. 

3. I am focused on my career, thats why i'm single.
If you were ALWAYS focused on your career and enjoyed staying back after working hours even when u were in a relationship, Bravo! Then you are a star employee. But if the option of staying home and eating cup noodles in front of the TV vs staying back at office and browsing facebook is the reason why your career is your priority, then you are NOT single because you prefer deadlines compared to men. 

4. I am happy being single
We all want our single girlfriends to be happy, yes we attached women really do. But if you are still going all out to pick up a "orang putehs" and yet claiming you are happier more than you have ever been being single, then hello.. i think you are in denial. Just say "i am happy" and omit the "being single" part. No one likes a faker. 

5. Urgh stretch marks, luckily i'm single
I will tell your kids someday that you never wanted them because of the thought of loose skin hanging around your belly. If you have a problem with kids because you simply dun like bawling whiny creatures, then I'm with you. But if the sole reason you don't like kids is because no men has had the urge to impregnate you, then its best to reserve your comments.

6. I am independent and thriving and can afford designer items because I don't have to save up for some silly wedding.
I'm sorry you dated a jerk who used up all your money and made you pay for his lavish lifestyle. I truly emphatize your experience. But don't shove it in us attached-womens' faces. We simply have different priorities in life. 

7. I can pay for myself, what you don't think i can??
Look, if a guy wants you buy you a meal, why do you have to rub your money/success/education eulogy in his face. Drop your pretense and be a girl for a day. And if you still take "daddy or mommy's" occasional financial help, best to not mention it. 

8. Look at me, look at me!
We are happy for your success, and yes as women, we will be jealous too. So stop shoving your accomplishments in our faces and pointing out that we are not as wealthy or accomplished as you are, simply because we spend our spare time with our loved ones, instead of behind a 4 by 4 cubicle. When we spend our weekends with you, we want to talk about dresses, sugar spice and all things nice, not about your success and your success alone. Conversations work both ways

9. I don't need sex.
I'm sure you keep mrs palm and her five children to themselves at night or in the shower. And i'm sure you don't have some kinky toys stashed up in the bedside table's drawer. And I'm also sure you don't have condoms stashed somewhere in your room for just in cases. And I'm also very very very sure you never looked at a hot guy walk past and imagine licking choc off his abs or walking hand in hand with him and doing something dirty.. 

10. I don't need to dress to impress. I dress for myself now. 
That's a healthy thought isn't it? SO why do i have a problem with it? Because most women who do not have the urge to look presentable, are immortally depressed. I'm sorry but looking good is embeeded in yours and my chromosomes. So if you don't have the urge to wear a clean pair of jeans or smell good for the day, you are not happy, you are depressed. 

11. I have my gurls and thats all I need. 
If your "gurls" are also single and you spend your time together bantering men and other attached women, you have just started a "sour grapes cult". 

So there you have it, how to stay single and fabulous without being a complete pain! We, slaves of the regular life and conformers of the universe's mundanity, love being around you and understand the pain and tears you have been through. So take off that mask, because it's also an effort for us to be around you, if you are bitter.

(Disclaimer: I do and truly do, admire single women who have made a life out of themselves and are not bitter about not having someone special to share their successes with them. But if you do one or two of the above, then you are not quite there yet.. time to re-evaluate yourself?)