CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Who's Been Eating Off My Plate!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

The Uncertainties that Lies Ahead

My life is in a mode where it could go anyway now. I have plenty of options, and yet none so outstandingly desirable to what i need in relishing my passion in social work. I have 4 months to decide where i go from here, buck up and give the best i have, and move on to another project or course of work.. And truthfully, it is difficult to let go of everything i have been doing.


I have options, but no direction, and so help me God, no savings whatsoever.

For the past 2 years, i have been living on a shoestring budget. Prices are sky rocketing exponentially everywhere, but my salary remains at a painful constant. I have my future to think about, but yet, i haven't done what i wanted to do enough to settle for something else which is not my choice of career. Some people say I'm digging my own grave. I say? If i am, i doing it willingly and happily....

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Middlesex


If there's anything nature had taught us, it would be all about balance. Prey and predator, night and day, gas and solids. Balance, seems easier to achieve when the presence of things are concrete, when two complete opposites exists in harmony. When balance is achieved, perfection is borned.


Yet the one being that is far from balanced are us humans. Humans who judge and analyse what balance is, is the most unbalanced beings that must have walked on this planet.

Yes there are men and women. Yet through time, we have hardly strike a deal of achieving balance. Women would never fully understand men and vice versa. Is it because we have drawn the line so clear that it is impossible to step into each another's realm?

I came across a novel called Middlesex a month ago. Granted i have not completed the book, since work has gotten the best of me, yet i can remember clearly what i've read to date. It is a story about intersex people. People who are seen as unnatural, a freak of nature, chromosomes gone wrong, or a product of curse and sins of their forefathers. Yet what i gathered from this beautiful story, is a breed of people so rare and so misjudged. I am convinced that we, men and women of single sex, are the ones who are freaks, unnatural in contrary with nature and completely of balance.

People who are borned intersex, or politically incorrectly termed as hermaphrodites, are people who are borned with two sexual organs. It is not that they are neither men nor women, it is more of a gift of being able to choose to be either or even both. Intersex people are not drag queens or transsexuals, they are naturally a balance of both.

If perfection is all about striking a balance, then intersex people are the perfection of the human race. For someone to be able to understand how it feels like to be both sex at one time, it is an advantage rather than a curse. Yet people like "US" scorn and belittle them, just because they are rare, just because they are not a majority. We have been governed by gender roles for so long that our little brains find it hard to wrap around the fact that culturally, a boy can become a girl if he wanted to.

Take homosexuals as an example, the world's greatest and most artistic people are hardly straight. Gays are creative, perfectionists, intelligent and one of a kind. That is simply because they reached a point where they have found a way to incorporate sentiments of another gender which do not belong to their bodies. If in a religious perspective we call it nirvana, being born as an intersex is the nirvana of humankind.

The reason i am writing this is not in response of encouraging people to retort from the sex they were borned as. However, it is because it sickens me when people imply that being born intersex is unnatural. How ignorant are we. A wonderful director which i adored recently passed away and all these ignorant fools could do was to dig up her past of possibly being born as an intersex with intentions to defame her.

If she was really borned intersex as what they had said, then it is a revelation to why she was so brilliant. It was a revelation to how she managed to be one of a kind in all its splendour. It was a revelation to how no one could replace her even if they wanted or tried to because they are just genetically disposed as unbalanced and imperfect..

It was a revelation then that they would never be the success that she was...




Sunday, August 9, 2009

Lost


I resent the loss of a time i never had..

I grieve for a loss of a loved one i never knew..
I am numbed by a pain i never felt..
I miss a place i've never been to..

I miss the "me" i've never becomed..
Does that even make sense to you?