Of Love and Liberty

On the last episode of Glee last week, besides singing along to all those catchy tunes, the main highlight of the show was the long awaited question of whether Blaine would eventually fall in love with Kurt. In case you're living simply out of this planet, Blaine and Kurt are two "out of the closet" high school guys who have been acquainted, became best of friends and eventually fell in love.

So yes, to spoil the fun for many of you ethical fellas who omit the urge to download free episodes from BitTorrent and wait patiently for the episodes to air on tv,  there was magic, there was sparkle, there was a "moment", there was romance and there was "the kiss". So what's wrong with the picture here? There were many reviews on this episode. Some called it " explicitly suggestive" and some called it "ethically immoral and should be given a PG18 rating". We openly embrace the magic of romance between man and women. Even the grungiest movies to do with war, fighting, horror has at least some elements of romance or sex, laced with promiscuousity or lust and we go "awww" at those moments depicted by butt naked men and women But somehow we live in a society that cannot seem to accept that love and liberty goes hand in hand. So what's wrong with a little boy on boy innocent romance that makes your heart silently weep and wish that you had that moment, or remisnisce young pure love and acceptance? Why does everything have to be determined by labels.

This brings me back to a conversation i had with a colleague where she criticised the cable TV for airing such a program that could "encourage the young ones" to turn gay. I personally found it offensive that she made the word "gay" sound like a disease. I am not pro-homo or pro-hetro. I am pro-choice. Being "gay" is not a new fad of this millenium. Coming out of the closet perhaps is, but people have always been either gay or straight. I choose to believe that it's not something that is entirely cultivated by the media. It is how you are born. It's the same as being a vege lover or a vege hater. Some friends i know have grown up on a vegetarian diet all their lives, but still LOVE beef the moment they tasted it. Some people associate the word gay with all that is promiscuous and damaged. But come on people, just because a person has feelings towards someone of the same sex means that they have been exposed to all that is dirty and explicit.

Personally, i think Glee is awesome. It has depicted "most accurately" high school pains in every aspect mortally possible. It isn't about sex, fame and living "THE" life. It's about choices and looking beyond all things plastic and self discovery. But enough about my personal opinions or preference. So here the part where i start being "rude, opiniated, and completely inappropriate"..

To all you hypocrites out there who think you're "safe" simply because you are not homosexual, I am not the few who are tolerant towards homosexuality simply because i have many gay friends. I just think that you are all hypocrites for judging the gay community. Why? because if you have not had explicit fantasies about the opposite sex, had random sex, or had more than one sexual partner, watches explicit scenes from movies and coo at it, you sure as hell don't have the right to judge. What makes your lives so different from those who are gay? Let's see, for one, they are honest and courageous enough to put themselves out there to be judge, simply for the fact of staying true to themselves. You? You hide your dirty laundry in your cupboard and yap your mouth away about other people's relationship or sex lives, but have no balls to talk about your dirty habits in the open. You talk about God, and say how this is a sin? If you have received oral sex or given oral sex, or had or are intending to have sex altogether for recreation purposes, then technically, you are just as much as a sinner. If you are going to take your holy book literally, then sex is for procreation, not recreation. Then also, let's not forget that you would have sinned also in the same magnitude for gossiping, bearing false witness against another person, wasting food, having pre-marital sex, having indecent thoughts of another individual, or pleasuring yourself or even refusing to help another who is in need.

So there you have it.. Why pile on more "sins" unto your pile.. it's the 21st century, it's time you live in it..

Of whips and cracks

"There's something strange about growing up, you simply see and accept things  the way they clearly are.." Anonymous


I've been called many things. Hater, pessimist, critical, judgmental.. the list goes on.. simply for stating that some obvious traits yields obvious results. While i do admit that in the "world's" terms, I am all of those words above, i also know that i see things the way the are, and am this way because i believe it is silly, to expect unrealistic outcomes from the same way of doing things. It's like the lottery. You keep buying and buying it, and hoping to strike rich, even though it's unrealistic and clearly, a one out of million chance. It's the same thing with relationships.. If you keep dating the same breed, chances are, the progression of the relationship will be exactly the way the previous one was.. It's science.. The results don't change if the constant remains the same..

I've probably never said it out aloud before, but I am thankful that I was once a victim of domestic violence. I come from an extremely loving family, but somehow plunged into a scary relationship where it involved the other party pulling me by the hair up the stairs, punishing me through all forms of violence, and brainwashing me that love equals to possessiveness. Perhaps, it is this reason why, i never could understand all the other women who (in my opinion) self destruct themselves by dating worthless/abusive men over and over and OVER again. But that's the thing, everyone has had bad/disasterous relationships once or twice before. But you need to be in a relationship where you are fighting to survive literally to reach that realization, that self worth can only be earned if you take the time to value yourself.

That's the ironic beauty about being a victim of violence, you see things clear, simple and as it is once you're out of it. You learn and stand firm that "once is enough". You learn that denial, is worse than indulging in cocaine. You do not turn into a feminist or man-hater, but can clearly recognize abuse even if it didn't come in a physical form. So yes, I might sound like a "hater" to you, but I truly believe that I am not. I am just anti-denial.

Today, I work with countless of women who are in abusive relationships. From a simple conversation, I have that knack to deduce if they are going to be lifelong victims. It's a sad and emotional thing for me, because if i had it my way, I would love to shove their heads into a bucket of ice and force them to see the damage they are doing to their lives and their loved ones. But from experience, I also know that if it is not their choice to get out of it, no amount of therapy, counseling, or forcing will do the trick. By experience, I also know that women who continually hop into 2 or more abusive relationships, will most probably end up being in the same kind of relationship, for the rest of their lives. They will fall back on the bandwagon again and again, and pass the trait on to the next generation and among their peers. The only thing i can do, is to share my experience with them, and hope that they have the courage and strength i fought so hard to discover.

People always say that there is tomorrow. In this case, if you don't get out of an abusive relationship now, you will probably never get out of it ever, even if you have 10 partners down the road..