The Malaysian Legend Yasmin Ahmad

When I was in school, I had a phase where I was flocked with Malay friends. Naturally, I listened to malay music as well as adored local malay artists. But that was as far as my interests ventured. Partly due to the fact that the one and only Malaysian produced malay movie titled Sembilu I watched then was hardly decent, even for the 12 year old me. I remembered laughing at the bad production, horrendous drama acting and the simple minded storyline which left a dent in my impression of Malaysian production.

It wasn’t until I left to college and heard my non-Malay friends raving about a Malaysian produced movie which was hardly anything but decent, instead brilliant. I took the plunge after more than 10 years, and watched Sepet. I laughed, I cried, I lived in the moment. It was as brilliant as everything they said it would be. From that day on, Yasmin Ahmad was a national hero to me. Someone has finally brought Malaysia down from the wall of shame in the world of screening productions. Since then, I have not missed a single one of her movies, except for the brilliant “muallaf” which was not allowed to be screened or sold here in the homeground, but has won numerous awards internationally.

Besides movie productions, Yasmin Ahmad produced many of the heart tugging advertisements which have been aired over the years. If you have watched an impactful one, chances are this amazing lady was behind the scenes. Remember all those Petronas festival ads, yup that’s her.

Sadly, Yasmin left us yesterday due to complications caused by the stroke she had two days ago. Malaysia does not know what loss they are experiencing yet. I was heart wrenched by the news and feverishly prayed for this wonderful woman as much as I could. But as how Yasmin Ahmad would see it, she would probably say that God loves her more to take her to His side so soon.

We have lost an amazing icon. The one and only woman who perfectly executed every single work she has produced. The woman who truly understood what underprivileged or minorities truly feel being part of Malaysia. Whose neighboring countries seeked her expertise feverishly while we worry about how to censor or discredit her every new work here in her very own homeground. I have never seen such subtlety being portrayed about the issues that races experience here in Malaysia than of what Yasmin has filmed. Yasmin’s work was tasteful, world class, unique, bold and simply true to the heart. She was a woman of vision. And my only regret is that I have never had a chance to meet this icon personally to just tell her how much her work has changed my life and the lives of many others.

It is an international loss that a woman with such talent has left us today. She will be missed and she will be always the one and only Yasmin Ahmad.

May her soul rest in peace.

Pray for Yasmin Ahmad

Yasmin Ahmad our beloved and one and only "relevant" director and brain for many heart tugging commercials and movies had a stroke yesterday. She is said to be out of danger now but recovering after undergoing brain surgery...

Pray for this special wonderful woman who has touched the hearts and lives of manyh through her work...

Why do Men Cheat?

You know that familiar question we all ask our men? " baby do u still find me pretty?" or "am i still hot to you?" or "if a hot girl came on to you, would you be tempted?" The answer is always no. In whatever relationship, in whosoever's relationship, the answer is always "NO".

Learning from previous experiences, the answer "no" doesn't mean jack shit. It's just a response, a nay-say, as word to shut down the uncertainties we women have tumbling all over our brains. The fear that what just happened to the next woman might happen to us.

The No.1 reason why men cheat: Men crave sexual “variety,” according to David Buss, professor of psychology at the University of Texas and author of The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating (BasicBooks). That ladies, equivalents to the simple reason; boredom. Sad isn't it?

Why is it always women who worry about their men cheating, and hardly ever the other way around. Maybe because of stereotypes. Men generally cheat more than women. In a survey done, it was shown that, "Approximately 40% of men seek sexual satisfaction outside their relationships, estimates Kat Hertlein, Ph.D., professor of human development at the University of Nevada - Las Vegas and a marriage and family therapist.

That number hasn’t changed much since 1950, when the famous Kinsey sex study found that 50% of U.S. men cheat at some point in their marriages."

So men cheat out of boredom, and women cheat out of vengeance. Both are equally promiscuous, but which is the lesser evil? Does it really matter, because it seems as though it is almost impossible to have a life-standing relationship these days. A friend of mine told me once. A man will cheat, not now maybe, but he will cheat, in some form or another, that day will come. These thoughts have disturbed me for years. And growing older, watching couples i know of fall apart and marriages that are based and maintained by lies and deceptions, it makes me wonder, if marriage vows should be altered to include the phrase " i will not have sexual relationships with another being till death do us part."

Just yesterday, My housemate bumped into a man we both know. A husband of a very beautiful woman, a father of two gorgeous little girls. Just a couple of months ago, we both were amazed by the transformation his wife had gone through. She must have easily shed 10 pounds and looked ravishing, more than ever. And yesterday, My housemate bumped into him with another younger girl in his arms. Variety you say? As i look at all the "datins" and "mrs" in the gym working their asses off to maintain their body, it makes me wonder what is the drive behind this conviction and perseverance. Mine, for now is purely for my own feel good feeling. Will i fall into that category one day? Botox and gym and slimming salons all for the sake of a man who you can't let go because you love him so dearly and you're fighting so hard to provide "variety" for his sexual appetite?

God knows..

Bodily Images

It's been a month or so I've been going to the Gym. I finally signed up for a two year long commitment to pay money just to get fit. While many people tried to convince me along the way that it's either a waste of money, overrated, or that i don't need it, I'm glad i did. I sort of found myself in a comfort zone which i can just hide in and emerge looking better. It's like my very own private cocoon. Well, i kinda sorta want to turn into a butterfly. My version of what a butterfly should look like.

I've been on the same battlefield with "Weight" as long as i can remember. For only short periods of my life, i've been off the field. Therefore, i can consider myself a veteran. Truth is, it is extremely easy for myself to lose a bunch of weight coupled with unreasonable convictions and extremes, But this time around, I'm hoping to do it the right way, kick off that damn smoking addiction alongside, and emerge as my very own idea of a butterfly.

I've always had people telling me i am fine, so why do i need to obsess about my weight. But what people sometimes fail to understand is, everyone has a different bodily perception of what is considered "fine" and what is considered " perfect ". I guess it is part and parcel of personality and the role the person sees himself or herself to be in the society. And while you wonder how looking a certain size or having certain percentage of body fats can do any good in your role in the society. Let me explain myself.

There are people who don't need to be super fit or super skinny to look good. My good friend Jo is a good example. She can put on 10 pounds or lose 10, and she still has that x-factor. She is a fabulous model to exemplify how she focuses on her good points and uses it to boost her confidence. Jo has an exceptionally exotic look for a regular Chindian. And Jo has killer legs, before, during and even after her pregnancy. She might not necessarily has the most sculpted abs or either perfect boobs or butt, but she focuses on what makes her feel confident. It is really how the person is internally that predetermines how the person wants to look outside.

So people tell me i am obsessed because i ask at least 3 different people once a day if i put on weight. That is because for me, my bodily image is almost everything to me. I'm far from saying that My opinion is THE opinion. But i am talking on a personal level.

Looking good is not an option for me. I need that in order to function in the different tasks in my everyday life regardless of whether it is relevant to it or not. For example, I will never be able to accept cellulite on my arms. Or having my excesses bulge over my jeans. If it is in my power to change it, i will work hard and fight it off my body. I am NOT fine with the way i look now. I like being a size "0" and i think it is nothing wrong to be bony. I don't like having an ass which protrudes, nor do i like having well endowed breasts. I love hands which are sculpted and backs of swimmers. I can't stand saree fats or love handles. Blemishes are not accepted. Yet i can tolerate wrinkles and an untrimmed pair of eyebrows.

What i am trying to say is, just because some people have different standards or requirements for their personal bodily image, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is "sick" or "unhealthy".

WHat is Your acceptable body image? And how willing are you to defend it and not get sucked into the trends and critcisms out there?

House Arrested

I've always been the sort to fall sick easily. Makes me kind of embarassed , and slightly upset that everytime an important back breaking task has ended, i'm literally cornered by a flu or sore throat. Though it is nice to slack off and take a break a little, i cannot take quarantines.. And after my trip to the doctor today, i am to stay home for the next 5 days until my darn flu and cough goes off...

Before you jump off your chair, i'm clear of the H1N1 infection. Did a swab test and voila! However, my immunity is betraying me therefore i am to stay home until i fully recover so that i do not catch the virus from someone else while i'm out.

So what have i been doing since noon? Hmm, i've watched tv, browsed online for recipes, and helped myself to an overdose of PS2. Anyone would love my life now i guess. 5 days of nothingness! I do slack whenever i get the chance to despite some people who see me as a workaholic. Kathy knows it. She smiles and snickers when she sees me doing it. It is just the prospect of having nothing to do for the next 5 days that is driving me bonkers! I'm sure by tommorow night i'll be sick of the PS2. And perhaps i'l drive over to my apartment to put the oven to good use since i'm pretty sure kathy and piggy can't possibly pass me anything foul! Maybe i'l make homemade pizza or burger patties from scratch! Yummy.. Problem is, salary's late, again... And it's not really advisable to spend the little pennies i have left from my last LATE salary to splurge on comfort food. And oh shoots.. I can't even go to the damned supermarket. Furthermore! I can't go to the gym and i'm not about to allow myself to pile on any fats just because i'm bored. I'm a little tempted to take those tiny pink pills the doctor prescribed for me to get some sleep. Sigh... WHAT DO I DO???

Gosh, the next thing i know i'd be looking at wedding dresses just for fun! It's so ironic how i can find so little to do on the danged World Wide Web!