Blue versus Brown.

Who can resist strawberry blond hair, freckles and big blue eyes? I must admit that since the day I learnt to distinguish what was attractive and not, blue eyes were a must have. I grew up fantasizing about meeting a blue eyed boy, fall in love, running my fingers through his sandy blond mane and having blue-eyed babies.

But I must say, all these fantasies were popped like a bubble gum balloon when I came out of my school-home-TV-church nutshell. No longer did I step foot into the city, did i realise there is nothing peachy and gooey about blue-eyed men. 

Risking myself to sound like a complete racist and prejudiced bitch, let me explain how and why my perspective of white men changed over the years. Bear in mind that I am referring to white men in Malaysia, and not across the globe.

When I was younger, many of my parent's friends married and settled down with white men and had beautiful children. Naturally, I always wished that I had their light brown hair and freckly skin instead of my dirty olive tone. Not to mention, locals who married white men always wounded up rich, but later divorced, with alimony. Monogamy just didn't seem to be their thing, at least for all those couples i knew off.

When I moved to the city, it was a reserve of expatriates. I found myself in the company of many blond blue-eyed candies, and surprisingly found myself hating it. Maybe it was my rotten luck to have met a herd of albino sleaze-bags, or maybe all the white men across the globe who ended up the region where I lived in, turned out to be sleaze-bags. Whatever reason it was, bottom line, i associated 'being white and in asia' - as scums. 

I found the hardest thing to do with a white men (in Malaysia) is to have a stimulating conversation with them. I mean, being an expat, pretty much means you were sent here to micro-manage because you have skills. Yet you would think that they would come across as highly intelligent conversation carriers. But from my ruinous experience, all conversation with white men leads to them trying to worm you into bed. Every action is flirtatious. Every topic leads to suggestive sexual implications. It just seems mind numbing and wearisome trying to ward their interest off your nether region when really, all you wanted to do was to have a decent conversation.

I learnt to appreciate brown eyed men instead. At least they were interested in me as a person, and not what kind of panties I had on ( well, to be honest not all, but a majority i would say would be interested in platonic relationships ). Their eyes bore into my soul, not into my shirt and right through my bra. They fancied laughs and silly fun, not conspiracies of getting me drunken and horny. Maybe it's the culture, maybe as I mentioned, it was my shit arsed luck to have ever been acquainted to those men.  

Well, I am not going to deny by all means that it takes two hands to clap, two stones to create a spark yada-yada. Thanks to a few ( now many) SPGs (sarong party girls) who make it their aim in life to nail a rich white men, Asian girls come across as desperate, cheap, easy and dispensable. Thanks to them, we suffer the same marred reputation even when we are independent successful highly intelligent women. White men in the same conference room as us, would not look at us as an independent successful thriving individuals, but a tootsie roll who is ever willing to spread her legs for anything albino looking. 

So what am I going to do now, since I detest all male humanly breeds which bear blue eyes? Well, when I am ready, I will adopt, a Blue-Eyed Siberian Husky puppy. It's a baby, it's fury, it's way more fun to raise a dog than to raise a kid. Not to mention much more economical.

I can still have my pie and eat it. All hope is not lost.. All i wanted is to have something blue eyed as my very own. Who said it had to be human.