Tell them I was Happy, And my Heart was Broken, All my Scars are Opened..

People say that happy times will come and go, but betrayals are there to stay.. They lay dormant in the nook and crannies of the cracks of your mended heart and slitter out to infect you with pain and sorrow whenever you are vulnerable.

I guess in everyone's lifetime, we have been betrayed before, in one way or another, whether it is a betrayal of a friend, or betrayal of trust by your parents, or the betrayal of a loved one whom you call your own, the scar is there and the truth is, the greater the magnitude of the betrayal, the more often the occurrence of future betrayals.

It's a sick cycle isn't it? What I think is that it can also lead back to the theory that sometimes when we are overly careful, we might be unconsciously plotting our own downfall. It's like being overly careful when you slice a tomato with an extremely sharp knife. As you take caution in every slice, fear populates your mind that you might hurt yourself.  The fear that populates your mind takes up all the space in your mind, and you let your defenses down, because you are crippled by the fear of slashing a finger. Soon, thats all you can think about, the fear, and slacken your grip on the actual intention, which is to be careful in the first place. Before you know it, your worst fear happens, you've been cut, without even realising it.

In my opinion, thats how it is with surviving betrayals. For people who have gone through multiple betrayals, the fear of going through another is so crippling that they either try to hard to ensure it doesn't end up that way again, or throw in the towel and hope for the best. They can do everything in their might to make different choices than the previous choices taken to avoid betrayal, but the fear is still there. The same, good ole fear.

When I used to trained bantered victims of Gender Based Violence on Coping Strategies for Abuse, I went by one single question. Is it really alright to tuck your unhappiness in a box and store it away? My answer is yes, but whats more important is the reason you are tucking the bad memories away for. Do you tuck it away, to try forget it ever happened, or do you tuck it away as a past chapter of your life, but with full acknowledgement that you are at ease with this bad memory that has happened to you?