There is such a phenomenon as "Natural Beauty"... Or is there?

At a barbecue last week, my cousins and i were just catching up. A topic then came up about "living together" with your partner. Having spent a great deal of time with her partner and almost literally living together, she expressed how difficult living in with a person really is. Now at some point of our lives, we've definitely had roomies before. I'm sure despite the friendship, fun and girlie talks we used to share and enjoy, each of us definitely had some degree of discontentment towards the other person. The more we live with the person, the bigger the test of our relationship. Especially as a couple. Especially with someone you'd want to impress.

Men have a common perception. I'm not by any means indicating it's a bad habit, or a habit to be changed, or a perception women may not posses, or a trait which makes them a jerk. None of the above. It's just their genetic composition and you can love it, or hate it, you'l never get rid of it.

Their common perception is women are born the way they look. Now i was sitting at the waxing parlour today and girls will be girls, we were talking about the areas they could possibly waxed. Blessed with my chinese genes, i only wax when i feel like it, hardly have much hair to remove.

This is the thing. Men think that women simply look the way they do! They either look hot, good, or bad. No grey areas there...Hot women know how to dress and match, look all groomed and smell like a bed of roses, have lovely flowing hair, a temptress attitute even when they're subtle, have matching nails and toe nails, soft skin, fair and smooth complexion, speak in an articulate manner, walk with grace, etc.. the list just goes on

Good looking women dont mix and match as much as Hot women do, but they're well kept, have nice teeth, have a sense of humor, have nice clean hair, an amazing smile etc,

Bad looking women? well, they're simply women who are left unkept. Of course men like to oogle at well kept women, but they have a perception that women are born like that. That having perfectly manicured nails and lawned legs and bikini lines are something they are born with. The truth is, men CANNOT handle women "au naturel". They cannot and will not accept that women go to great lengths to look the way they do.

In today's world, "au naturel" means using the correct shade of make up to enhance your look, (not omiting make up completely. It means shaving your legs and plucking your eyebrows ( not leaving any stray hair anywhere ). It means having long wavy hair or a soft smooth mane. ( frizzy hair is not "naturel", rebonding is ). Having soft smooth baby fair skin. ( whitening products are more important that SPF products) and the list goes on!

Women go to such great lengths to groom groom groom simply to find themselves a "groom" one day. Men on the other hand, have forgotten that sometimes, we want to be applauded for our efforts. THAT is why we ask, "honey do i look nice in this?" "baby do i look fat?" "Sweetie do i look prettier than the girl there?" Reassurance dudes! Thats what we need from you since you don't exactly compliment us. Why do women get upset when their new nail color or earrings are not complimented upon. Men call us vain, Women simply crave for acknowledgement that we've gone to certain lengths to look good for men.

And then there comes the living together part. My mum always said, "why buy the cow when you can get free milk?" i never quite got it. Mum's metaphors are mostly directly translated chinese sayings. But to put some thought to it, she does have some sense, Living together means sleeping together, If you live together with the mere bond of your relationship ( which is a verbal bond ), walking away is always an option. But to be bonded by the sanctity of holy matrimony, bet you'd think a hundred times before you walk away.

I met my friend's girlfriend recently.

"She looks nice." i smiled as i commented when she made her way to the washroom. "Nice" in my context meant decent looking, well groomed, not a baywatch babe but good enough.

"Yeah" my friend replied, unenthusiatically

"Why la?? Whats wrong?? You don't think your girlfriends nice???" i probed

" NO no... she's great its just, you think she looks nice cz you don't see the hair she leaves in the shower, her sanitary napkins (which has an odor) she often forgets on the sink, her dirty panties she leaves in the laundry basket with all my clothes and yeah i don't know why but she plucks her arm pit hair and waxes her legs in front of me!!!!! So of course she looks nice. Cz you don't see all the things she does to look nice. If she didn't, she won't look nice. So technically, she's not that pretty..." he trailed off as "ms Girlfriend came back to the table.

I, on the other hand felt sick. I wished i didn't ask. Now he didn't have to be so detailed and it was disrespectful to share with me his girlfriend does in her private time and space. Information overload.

Over dinner, i hardly kept my mind on our conversations. My mind kept floating back to what he said. And although i felt sick because he talked bout his girlfriend's sanitary napkins (GROANNNN), his girlfriend was just being a normal girl/woman and doing the normal things women do to look nice! Who ever said that women must hide in the bathroom and groom themselves in privacy. And since when "pretty" had to do with not "grooming"? Home is private enough. And men do not understand that by sharing that home, you share everything else that comes with it. Women do not complain when men brush their teeth, scratch their arse or balls in front of us. We don't complain and get irked by sauce dribbling down the front of your shirt. We think you look nice in anything or nothing. Because very few men are metrosexual. How many men shave their pubes? And how many women DON't shave/wax their bikini patch? How many men even bother to shave their facial hair everyday? You do the math..

Because men have the idea that women look the way they do on streets everywhere else and are born like that, living in can be a culture shock to poor men. They get irked by all the rituals women perform to look the way they do. Thats why the magic of marriage dies off eventually. And when people are not bonded by holy matrimony, the bond dies off even faster...

So men, if you're reading this, maybe it's time you've come to terms that you have been grossly mistaken by the origins of "natural beauty". Looking fresh and having great skin and hair and having long eye lashes is by no means anywhere close to being "au naturel". Products baby! thats what women are made off. So prep yourself next time you see a pretty girl walk past. A well groomed woman is like a walking pharmacy. Everything she needs for touch up is in her purse and products are all over her body to make her look ravishing. SO save yourselves the culture shock. Every nook and cranny that we've plucked waxed, shaved, deserves an applaud or a praise from you, because it fucking hurts! and yet we go through the pain just for you....

"Natural Beauty" does not exist.... Learn to live with it.....

CHeers!