Our Story

It's been 4 days and i've been wondering how to piece the words together. 24th November marked my third year anniversary with Bernard. There were so many things i wanted to write about, so much of details i want to share with the world, but i couldn't find the time to sit down and do it. Now that i have half an hour before my next meeting. I shall do our story justice.

Everyone has that "ultimate" love story. The type where it still makes you swoon even when you think about it 20 years down the road. The type where

 you would look back with no regrets despite the blood, sweat, tears included in the concoction of memories surrounding the relationship. 

Bernard and me had a fairytale story. If i had to put down every last details of the past 4 and half years i've known him, it would make a fantastic best seller romance novel ( too bad i don't read those genre, let alone write it) 

We met at a Sarah Brightman concert. I was there working as an usher to earn peanuts to get through my pathetic life as a student, and he was there as an usher too as a favor to his friend and to beat the summer holidays blue ( he was back from chicago for a 3 months holiday). Out of what was close to 50 over ushers, we met, we chat, we became instant friends. And out of a twist of fate, he was stationed right next to me in the big stadium.

I was going through a topsy turvy turn in my life, being out of a long relationship, having problems with friends who turned their backs on me, 

moving into a new place, and dating numerous Not-so-nice-bastards, he was a breath of fresh air. I didn't see him as an object of attraction, but rather, as a friend who was insanely charming. Throughout a concert where people paid thousands to watch and be in platinum seats, bernard and me spent the entire night chatting away. 

At the end of the night when it was time to say goodbye, i kissed him on his cheeks goodbye, and dismissed the possibility of ever meeting him again, or keeping in touch. It was too good to be true i told myself. He was just a friend. I spent the entire night tossing and turning in bed. My head was replaying every small conversation we had, and all i could think of was this guy whom i vaguely knew, and who meant nothing more to me than just a acquaintance. I tried to dismiss all those thoughts and forced myself to sleep.

The very next morning, i woke up with a smile on my face when i looked at my phone. Bernard messaged me a simple message just telling me how his day started. That, was the start to something beautiful, i just knew it. We exchanged messages every day, and one day, we finally went out for a dinner date. We chatted the whole night away, accidentally wore the same color top and jeans, and felt even closer to each another. Immediately, i dropped everyone around me, i was desperate to get rid of my past, and enjoy this breath of fresh air.

After 3 weeks, and numerous outings, Bernard finally kissed me. And for the first time in my entire life, i knew what it felt like to have butterflies in my stomach. Time flew past for the 3 months Bernard was around, and it was time to say goodbye to each another as he had to go back to chicago for the next term. I remember the night i cried myself to sleep. Perhaps more because i was reverberating myself for falling into this kind of situation! I was confused just as he was. On the day he was flying off, he sent me to college, i said my goodbyes, and hugged him goodbye. I was determined not to let him see me cry. I told him i loved him, as if the words just came out naturally, i didn't feel stupid, but neither did i expect my lips to betray me. 

The next few days were filled with remorse, confusion and fear. We never got together, there were no promises, but neither did it end. And it scared me that my life would get back to the normal disaster that it was, i finally saw him online, and he seemed fine, and he told me to forget him. I was devastated, but i refused to act or show that i was. 

For one and half years, things yo- yoed between us. We talked to each another almost every night and day, i called him, he called me, we were constantly on line. People came in and out of our lives but we still found ourselves together via a cable, millions of mile apart. I could not move on though options seemed to overflow me. And that feeling that i loved him didn't go away, it just grew to such enormity that i constantly felt like i couldn't breathe. Bernard sent me surprise bouquets at my door. We sang to each another birthday tunes on the phone. We cried together, laughed together, ranted together, tried to give up on each another together, but nothing broke the bond we had. 

After one and half years, bernard was offered a permanent job in chicago. He gave it up for me, and he came home. The moment he arrived, i remember running towards him in the most unkept manner, in my jammies, hair all tied up. I couldn't sleep for the 3 days he was on flight, simply fearful of him changing his mind and not feeling the same for me once he had seen me face to face. On the very same day he arrived, while lying next to each another, i asked him if he regretted coming back for me. And the only answer he gave me was that the only thing he regretted is not asking me to be his girlfriend sooner. And from then on, we became exclusive of each another. 

Through the three years, we went through many trials. There were times we needed to have time outs, there were times we almost broke up, we realised we were two very different people who had more compromising than sharing to do. Life was not a cupcake. But we never gave up. Maybe because of all the time we spent trying to make it work, it just didn't seem worth it to gve up. But maybe also because neither of us would give up because we loved each another too much. 

It has finally reached 3 years now of officially being together. And being with bernard is the best decision i have ever made in my life. We do not hold hands, and do much PDA, but everyday, the love just grows stronger. 

He is my pillar, my friend, my lover, my confidante, my past, present and future. And i am glad that with each anniversary that we celebrate, we can look forward for more years to come. :)

I love you baby...