As usual, I get out of bed late, I am far from a early riser, and it is fine with me. Half the time, i miss morning mass, and tell myself that i will go for the evening one later, but fail to do so. I don't feel guilty at all. God understands, because he knows that instead, i do my little readings while having my breakfast at the restaurant downstairs from my apartment.
As what i've told phil before, a church is a man made constitution for a congregation. It's the same concept as identifying whether a house is a home. A building is called a church only when it's congregation feels the sense of belonging when they go there. Otherwise, it's a building despite what it might say on the outside. It doesn't matter if it prides itself to be a protestant church, a catholic church or insist that its a remnant church, it's only a church when people go there because they feel lost without going to it, not to fulfill their weekly obligations to God.
I was born and bred in a protestant church which i would consider a tad bit on a chauvinistic and extremist side. In the church i came from, we didn't eat unclean food (i.e; seafood, pork, coffee, alcohol, anything without parted hoofs). We also insisted that Saturday was the true sabbath and that it should be kept holy at any cost. Holy in the sense of omitting oneself from work, school, tv, or any recreational activities which did not include churchy stuff. When i was 10 years old, i was rejected to baptism which i had undergone months of bible study classes for because i attended biweekly extra classes at school. I was said to have failed to keep the sabbath holy. I was brought up in the mentality that i should just sit and believe that blessings with fall from the sky without even trying. Screw studies, screw friends... They won't lead me to heaven.
My parents had always believed in the greatest gift God gave humans, which is free will. And therefore, they brought me to other churches and encouraged me to explore where i felt comfortable at. It was not easy, as my other church-members frowned upon my parents and me. As i grew older, i became the church pianist, perched a place on the youth council, and organised youth camps and choir practices. Somehow it never gave me the sense of belonging even with all the power given to me. I begun to see the politics that was in-church itself. And as i left Johor Bahru to come to KL for studies, i fell further apart from church.
I won't consider myself the prodigal daughter, that one day i will go back to my roots. I insist that it is important as parents to make sure that their children attend church regularly so that they can understand the importance of being spiritual, but they should also nurture their children to be able to judge from what is right and wrong and give them the choice to choose.
JUst because i don't attend church regularly like many others, it does not mean i'm spiritually defect. In fact, i find myself more spiritually inclined as i spend time reading the bible and having God-and-myself's alone time. Spending time with God should not be restricted to Sabbaths alone. What's the point of being holier on certain days of the week only? If there's anything church-going teaches a person, it is discipline to be able to allocate that one day every week without fail for God, and nothing more. Blessings come from the Big Boss above in heaven, not from a man preaching at the altar or the building we sit in. It is nice, i admit to be amongst the congregation and listen to the gospel, but the point i am trying to make here is just because your not physically in church during mass, it doesn't make u lesser of a Christian.
It is very rare for a born and bred protestant to attend the Catholic church, like myself, simple because protestants think that Catholics are too routine oriented and doctrine driven. While i may come across as minimally accurate to me, i love attending masses in the Catholic church because they do not force their ideas and teachings unto you like most protestant churches do. They are not indifferent flocks, they simply respect the fact that when one is ready, one will seek the truth himself, rather than to impose their values by force.
If i were to liken the denominations of christianity to parenting styles, the catholic church will be my favorite. It has rules and values and rituals no doubt. But it doesn't force you to be part of it. It is like a parent who is ever ready to pick up a child who has fallen of its bike, but does not insist that he must use trainer wheels until he is perceived ready to ride without them.
Religion is something personal. And this is my personal take on it.
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