It's that time of the year again

It that time of the year again, where mixed feelings never truly leaves you in peace. On one hand, I am ecstatic to have finally taken up my dream job, and on the other hand, I am going to be alone for Christmas for the first time.

Christmas is always the part of the year I look forward to (second in line Chinese New year because of the angpows hehehehe). Christmas celebrations at the Murray's headquarters, all the way in Mersing is always a hustle and bustle and nothing short of havoc. While family members take long drives to make it to my grandfather's house to make it in time for Christmas eve mass, it is always a trepidation for "my" family to beat the clock and traffic to get there in time. Tempers may flare against dilly-dalliers, and dad is always assuming his suitcase is packed with him work documents for 'just-in-cases' and me, wondering, why I am here, and not out with my friends in the big city partying away.When everyone reaches Grandpa's house, cousins will exchange horror stories of being stuck in the car with their parents for long hours and parents will be nagging at us to either help out in the kitchen, or scoot back to the hotel to take a short nap before the midnight mass.

The midnight mass at Mersing is truly a bizzare experience for those who are used to extravagant decos and large crowds back in KL. But it is nothing short of special. While we sit through mass (sometimes without a priest) and sing carols on the top of our voices in the absence of music accompaniments, feelings of warmth and love engulfs us and I  can safely say it for all of my family that all the havoc was worth it, to be back where it truly feels home for christmas.  At the end of mass, the Murrays who normally make up half of the chapel, would exchange hugs and kisses, and all the she-bang that we went through earlier in the day, would be forgotten.

Christmas at the Murray's HQ is a BIG celebration. And it normally stretches from Christmas eve, all the way to the 27th December. Although my grandfather is no longer lucid, and poor Kristin normally sacrifices her real birthday to have a joint celebration with Grandpa, most family members would join in the fun and prolong the holidays as much as they can.

Today when we look at families with 6 children or more, we wonder why they would put themselves through such a predicament. But i have to admit that, growing up with a large extended family, was the most perfect part of my childhood. As much as we sometimes joke about my Grandpa being psychotic to have 11 kids, i thank him, for the biggest (literally) gift he has given to us. Without the gift of family, i would have never experienced family love the way I did. Yes we fight, badmouth, disagree, and get jealous of each another at one point or another, but at the end of the day, it's about love, loyalty and togetherness.

This year, I will be alone, or probably celebrating Christmas in a much smaller fashion. I will be missing my huge crazy, loving (and sometimes dysfunctional) family. I will be missing our regular cousins' dirty beach getaway  every Christmas night. I will be missing my christmas gifts and yummy spread of food which is normally a product of the hours the aunts spend slaving in the kitchen. I will miss seeing my nieces and nephews and coo about how much they have grown over the past year. I will be missing Sri Malaysia Hotel which is always smells mouldy and gushes coffee colored water through its pipes. I will be missing Grandpa's big birthday, 102 years old this Christmas. I will be missing the morning market's nasi dagang, the salty air, the bread bakery who still uses a charcoal oven to bake their goodies and most importantly, I will be missing Mami, Papa, and my entire family who I love to bits and pieces.

Merry Christmas to the entire Murray Clan! I will be missing you sorely... :(

xoxo
Charlene