Bodily Images

It's been a month or so I've been going to the Gym. I finally signed up for a two year long commitment to pay money just to get fit. While many people tried to convince me along the way that it's either a waste of money, overrated, or that i don't need it, I'm glad i did. I sort of found myself in a comfort zone which i can just hide in and emerge looking better. It's like my very own private cocoon. Well, i kinda sorta want to turn into a butterfly. My version of what a butterfly should look like.

I've been on the same battlefield with "Weight" as long as i can remember. For only short periods of my life, i've been off the field. Therefore, i can consider myself a veteran. Truth is, it is extremely easy for myself to lose a bunch of weight coupled with unreasonable convictions and extremes, But this time around, I'm hoping to do it the right way, kick off that damn smoking addiction alongside, and emerge as my very own idea of a butterfly.

I've always had people telling me i am fine, so why do i need to obsess about my weight. But what people sometimes fail to understand is, everyone has a different bodily perception of what is considered "fine" and what is considered " perfect ". I guess it is part and parcel of personality and the role the person sees himself or herself to be in the society. And while you wonder how looking a certain size or having certain percentage of body fats can do any good in your role in the society. Let me explain myself.

There are people who don't need to be super fit or super skinny to look good. My good friend Jo is a good example. She can put on 10 pounds or lose 10, and she still has that x-factor. She is a fabulous model to exemplify how she focuses on her good points and uses it to boost her confidence. Jo has an exceptionally exotic look for a regular Chindian. And Jo has killer legs, before, during and even after her pregnancy. She might not necessarily has the most sculpted abs or either perfect boobs or butt, but she focuses on what makes her feel confident. It is really how the person is internally that predetermines how the person wants to look outside.

So people tell me i am obsessed because i ask at least 3 different people once a day if i put on weight. That is because for me, my bodily image is almost everything to me. I'm far from saying that My opinion is THE opinion. But i am talking on a personal level.

Looking good is not an option for me. I need that in order to function in the different tasks in my everyday life regardless of whether it is relevant to it or not. For example, I will never be able to accept cellulite on my arms. Or having my excesses bulge over my jeans. If it is in my power to change it, i will work hard and fight it off my body. I am NOT fine with the way i look now. I like being a size "0" and i think it is nothing wrong to be bony. I don't like having an ass which protrudes, nor do i like having well endowed breasts. I love hands which are sculpted and backs of swimmers. I can't stand saree fats or love handles. Blemishes are not accepted. Yet i can tolerate wrinkles and an untrimmed pair of eyebrows.

What i am trying to say is, just because some people have different standards or requirements for their personal bodily image, it doesn't necessarily mean that it is "sick" or "unhealthy".

WHat is Your acceptable body image? And how willing are you to defend it and not get sucked into the trends and critcisms out there?