I'm back

After a long long time.. I am back. It's been extremely difficult the past few weeks to sit down and write something. Perhaps because there's been a million and one things to do and i just couldn't find time to unwind. Blogging, is my idea of unwinding...

There are few days in a year you truly look forward to. For myself those days would be christmas, anniversaries, Chinese new year, birthdays of loved ones but never my very own birthday. They say people who are jaded through their birthdays are people who are mortally depressed with life. If you can’t look forward to your very own birthday, enough said…

First things first, I hate birthday cakes especially if it was for my birthday. I hate the whole fuss and frills of decorations and people treating you special on that day. And balloons. Geez, need I say more. If you do not already know, I have an irrational fear of those time bombs. ( I shall not go into details to how that phobia came along)

I haven’t had a birthday party for a good 7 years. Not that I miss it because well, you can’t really miss what you never had right? On top of that, 7 years ago, when I decided that I would have my 19^th birthday party bash, I had a catastrophic experience. For starters, my housemate who was a kleptomaniac stole all the money I had stashed aside for my month’s worth of rent, allowance and money I had saved to spend on my birthday bash. My then boyfriend, caused me to fall due to his impatience and resulted a big tear in my favorite pair of jeans and not to mention a tear on my knees too. He then bought me two pair of jeans that were ill fitting and showed off my thunder thighs which he insisted looked “nice”. My friends then pooled some money as my birthday present and expected me to use that money to treat them to a birthday party which I did eventually. I had no presents that year, a sad and miserable month living on instant and canned food, and failed 2 papers in my a levels the very same month which I had to retake in the following semester. Talk about bad luck.

That was probably why I hated celebrating my birthday and went to all lengths of never celebrating it again. Come to think of it, I never had a sweet sixteen birthday, nor a 21^st birthday bash. I remember spending every birthday thereafter crying over something or someone. Enough said, I believed and till this very day believe that the 19^th of February is my version of Friday the 13^th.

This year is however is nothing like all the other years, but better than the others before. I’ve already got my first present and gosh baby, I love it to bits and pieces. Bernard’s a practical person and for every gift that he has ever given me, it has always been the best out of the best ( even though many a time I do really like the second best option better ). And thank you sweetheart for everything. Dinner was great and fun. But for what’s worth, I think I have grown out of hating this day over time. For starters, i didn't tear even once in the past few days. Haha.. I guess I have finally grown up.

Last weekend, all my loved ones plotted to lure me into a surprise birthday trip. Well, i must say, it worked out very well. I was clueless till the very end. I had an awesome time. From the entire surprise that these people actually managed to con me into a trip i never expected them to plan, to winning big bucks in the casino, to baby sitting jez and watching timmy play clown with his underwear on his head to the scrumptious fish head curry we feasted twice on, the number 19 is hardly inauspicious for me anymore..Thank you everyone. I needed that well deserved action packed holiday badly and it was the best time i've had in years. Oh did i mention i blew candles off 2 cakes this year? *wink*

I am trying to think of ways I have grown over the year and there is just too many to list down. From a green horn in my line of work, people are actually aware of my talent and achievements. I have lesser friends, but the ones who have stayed with me throughout are always there when I need them. I have learnt that politics exist everywhere you work and there is just no point trying to look for that dream job. There’s a reason why it is called a “dream job”. I have learnt that criticisms only builds character and also learnt that it is okay to say “thank you” to a compliment. I have learnt that being hardy is not plain being bitchy but being able to withstand rejection and yet being able to walk away gracefully. I have learnt that it is important to remind yourself of those set of principles you have set initially otherwise you will eventually evolve into someone you could not recognize in the mirror one day. And I have also learnt most of all the importance of distinguishing how to be dependent on a person yet be emotionally independent off the person. I guess this is what it takes to finally be 26 years old. 

I love you all....