Are you a Serial Dater?

Today was the last day of my affair with the Astro Gold Card. (sobs)

Since the Olympics are over now, so is our little affair and it is time i returned him to his rightful decoder.. I'm back to Malaysian TV...pretty much, my life's about to get more organized and back to normal.

The last program i watched on Astro today was THS Nicole Kidman on channel E.
The THS (True Hollywood Story) talked about her failures, her successes. her relationships, her relationships and her relationships. Basically, it was pure gossip. What came across as a little irky for me, i thought to myself, her personal life isn't really so different compared to many of us. It's just that our stories are not publicly exposed to the entire world!

THS accused Nicole Kidman as being a serial dater after the divorce of long time hubby, Tom Cruise. Well, just because she's a celebrity she cannot serial date? Honestly, how many people serial date these days??? ALOT.

A majority of us have had the experience of serial dating. Unless you are one of those lucky ones who are still dating or married to their highschool sweethearts, you have at one point of time or another experienced serial dating.

Why serial date? Research shows that a large majority of serial daters have left home to fend for themselves. Purged by loneliness and incapable to cope with life changes alone, they constantly need someone to mother them, or someone to mother. In simple language, the need for a comfort zone.

Serial dating is by far not wrong, not immoral, not unnatural. It is a mental and emotional coping strategy but like steroids, when taken for a long time, will only cause long term negative effects.

There are 5 types of serial daters

1. Separation Anxiety
A serial dater who experiences separation anxiety when is not in physical contact with another person constantly. This type of serial dater is dependant on the person she or he dates to have the "feel good factor".

2. In Seek for euphoria
This type of serial dater enjoys the euphoria and adrenaline rush of having a new relationship. Looks for the Butterflies in the stomach effect and tingles in the toes. The moment, the honeymoon period is over, they are convinced happiness has dulled and they move on to another person

3. Routine Centred Individual
A person who's "anal retentive". Someone who sticks by routines in their daily lives and finds it distressing to have their routine interrupted. Especially when a long term relationship fails, they find it hard to go back to life the way it was before that. These serial daters jump into relationships before weighing the pros and cons. Serial dating is a habit to this type of serial dater.

4. The Perpetual Student
Likened to a perpetual student who truly desires to graduate and embark a career, he is still unable to give up the comforts of a classroom, the culture of learning and the socialization aspects hinders him from immersing himself in the real world. A serial dater congruent to this metaphor, is someone who simply is AFRAID OF COMMITMENTS.

5. A Wayfaring Stranger
Someone who is in search for the perfect person he or she envisions her life partner to be. "wayfaring" means "on journey" which clearly illustrates this type of serial dater to be very resistant towards any changes of how his or her ideals of a perfect partner should be. Such a serial dater hardly compromises, and when he/she does, feel resentful towards those compromises. Relationships normally end due to the inability to think or feel out of the box, which leads to many failed relationships and the constant quest to look for the perfect partner

This is what i think. If you haven't met the right person, keeping your options open is healthy. Compromising is also another healthy option, but throwing away all your beliefs and principles in life for a person isn't healthy either. There is no "RIGHT" and "WRONG" in love. At the end of the day, love will always be subjective to each and every individual. It's about striking a balance, being able to sacrifice some of your favorite routines, and yet be happy to make those sacrifices, that is the hardest part. But when you love someone, and loved in return in the same amount. There will be not too much major sacrifices which have to be made, and the little sacrifices that you do make, will only make you happy you did it.

At the end of the day, it's all about striking a balance. There is no perfect person for anyone. It's all in the way see perceive what is perfect and what is not.

For all you serial daters out there. I wish you luck on your quest. I was once there too. I was once hurt, stripped naked of my pride and ego, and was on the same quest you are on now.

This worked for me, and i hope it works for you too.... Don't go searching.. When it comes to you, you will know it.. It's just up to you on whether you pounce on the opportunity or not...

Cheers!