My love of my life

Yesterday night, as i was about to go to bed and surrender myself to slumber, i got a phone call. Somehow, i groaned when i heard my phone ring across the room. I forced myself out of bed, and picked up the call just in time before it went off. 

KAthy, my housemate was on the other side of the line. As she read aloud the letter we just received from our condominium's management office, my heart fell. What i was dreading for the past 2 years happened. It was an eviction order for my dog, piggy. Apparently, my next door neighbour had complaint that i was keeping a dog. I always knew she was a difficult lady. She would slip; notes under our doors telling us to throw the bag of rubbish we left at the lft door, only refusing to believe that, the bag of rubbish wasn't thrown by us. 

When i first moved in, she knocked on my door and complained that the music was too loud, when there was no music being played in our house. Sometimes she would leave notes under my door saying a cockroached crawled from my house to hers, simply because she found a cockroach in her house. One day she confronted Kathy and said we've been ashing our ciggies in her house. GROANNNNNN. Her balcony was symmetrically next door to mine. Unless we were able to defy gravity, there was no way any ash from our apartment could have flew and neatly landed into hers. Not to mention, we don't smoke in the balcony and we do own  an ashtray!

So when she complained about Piggy, i remembered asking her is Piggy barked too much or smelled (but piggy didn't do either, only if there was strangers at her door or mine, then she'd bark as an alarm). And she simply said, "you shouldn't keep a dog in your house, no other reason" BITCH!

So recently, she complained to the management office. Having a new apartment manager who was trying to prove herself too much, her complaints were treated in a serious manner. And now, i have to get rid of piggy. Over my dead body!

I've said this many times before. Piggy is not just a dog. She's not just a pet. She is a part of my family. And i don't know what i'd do without her. And now i have to give her up, which is unfair. If pets are prohibited in condominiums, then why restrict it to dogs only, why not the thousands of cats we have roaming the corridors and being kept as pets. Cats in fact carry 9 infectious disease. Piggy is smaller in size compared to a persian cat. Why can't i keep her.

I resent everything about the laws in our country. The double standardness extends its arms to every fucking aspect of our lives. It doesn't spare us one bit. Even IF i had a landed property, i can't keep more than 2 dogs. WTF! WHy just dogs?????

In any other muslim country in the world, i see people keeping dogs and have no prejudice towards them. Muslims are not alowed to touch a wet dog when they are dry, yet many of other middle eastern people i know off do keep dogs and still are able to keep those rules without any hassle! 

Sometimes when i take piggy for a walk by her leash downstairs, i encounter screaming muslim girls because piggy is about 20 feet away from them. For the love of God! Seriously????????

I've decided to send piggy back to my mum in  JB. Everyone tells me she will be happier to have two monsterous-sized dogs to play with her and a lawn to run around in. I don't know. I mean, how do they know, piggy can't talk. We all don't know.

All i know is i am going to miss piggy. And my heart's going to break not being able to see her everyday. She's not JUST a dog, she's my baby. 

I am going to miss her snuggling up on my pillow, waking me up everytime the morning alarm rings, her little antics of stealing food and lovingly perching on me and licking my face everytime she wants to show her love. I am not ready. I will never be....

Piggy i love you. 

coins...

I've been having a recurrent dream for the past few weeks. Not on a daily basis, but it'll skip a few days and come back again.

It makes me want to cry, sometimes even laugh or smile at the little things that used to be be part of what made me the person i am today..

My dream start like this. I am a little girl, wearing my favorite cotton dress with small yellow printed flowers and a ribbon to tie behind my back. I'm walking along Jalan Sungai Seget, in the middle of Jb town. Where the bus station used to be. It was a dirty place, with plenty of colonial shophouses selling everything from books, food, toys, school uniforms to coffins. I remember clearly there was an Atm at the corner.

As my mother and me alight the bus, we walk towards the atm. My mother slots in her card into the machine, with a frown on her face. I remember my mother's face. She was thinner, younger, less pigmented and her light brown eyes always shone. Then i see a pink hue in my mother's eyes amidst her light brown retina. She looked as if she was going to cry. I looked up at the screen which is too tall for my little body, and i see RM25.80. I wonder, thats not too bad...I get 50 cents to school everyday. Thats alot of money!

My mother withdraws 10ringgit, smiles at me and asks me what i'd like to eat. I choose the wantan mee which i absolutely loved at a run down coffee shop at the end of the row of shophouses. After eating in silence, we wait and take a bus home which is a 45minutes hour ride. Then we trek up the hill to get to our house. When we get into the house, i plonk on the bed, satisfied of my awesome meal which has now made me as sleepy as a well-fed python...

Except, that this isn't really a dream. It was real. This was a flash-back scene from 20years ago.I remember clearly always having money problems as a child. I envied other kids at school who had their parents pick them up from school in multicolored cars. I wished we had a datsun which my bed friend's dad had. I hated having to share the bike with both my parents, being squashed in between. I hated having to stop and put on ugly blue raincoats when rain suddenly washed down on us while other cars zoomed past and splashed muddy water on us.

I wonder how my mother ever lived the life she had. How she survived and made me smile with a mere plate of wan tan mee. Surely we weren't starving in between meals, but we were very poor.

We had our first car when i was 13 years old. My cousin sold us her second hand kancil. It was wonderful, to have a car. I used to walk home from school which was 2km away sometimes in the blistering heat, because i didn't have money to pay for the school bus that month. I remember, it was only 14ringgit per month. But it was alot. Up till when i was in secondary school, i brought RM1 to school. And it was more than enough for me. How expensive food is these days.

Now, our lives are better, we're far from being part of middle classed families, but it's better. At least, we can buy whatever neccesities we need. I earn a decent amount every month doing a job i love. I couldn't ask for more. While my dad is still working, i'm happy to be able to contribute to their lives the way they have contributed and dedicated theirs to mine.

My mother suffers from diabetes and hypertension. And recently, she has Alzheimer's symptoms. And it pains me that i cannot be patient with her sometimes when she forgets stuff. Not because of the inconvenience it causes me, but it pains me to see her this way before i can truly provide them a comfortable life.

They say your childhood shapes the way you are for the rest of your life. Am i glad i had a hard time growing up? Yes, because amidst that, there was still happiness that i exeperienced in the simplicities i had growing up.

Why have i been having this dream? Beats me... But it sure as hell makes me blue thinking of the past......

And kathy, moon shines on me..... Gotcha! =)

A pretty girl is what a pretty girl says.....

Beauty icons are often remembered for their ability to posses both brain and brawns. It is hard enough for a woman to look pretty and be able to speak well. That is why beauty icons like the late Princess Diana, Jackie O Kennedy, Angelina Jolie and Audrey Hepburn are legendary beauty icons.

Angeline Jolie- UNHCR Ambassador

Princess Diana

Jackie O Kennedy

Audrey Hepburn- Unicef Ambassador

It’s sad that out of the billions of female population across the globe, there’s only a handful of intelligent beauty icons. Beauty icons are different from the usual supermodels or actresses. Their beauty does not fade away with age. They are far from just a pretty face. The difference is usually that people actually respect beauty icons and not merely lust for their outer appearance. Their beauty is effortless. That’s why they’re legendary.

I was reading a featured article in The Star today featuring Amber Chia, our very own Malaysian Guess “mascot”.  When Amber Chia made it as the new asian face for Guess, pride swelled among Malaysians. It is not everyday we see a Malaysian woman make international headlines. As far as I can remember, Michelle Yeoh was the only one. Correct me if I’m wrong.

However, I feel that Malaysian celebrities or models should be given speech and social skills training prior to embarrassing themselves in interviews especially. They say women can multitask, I’m sure it’s not impossible for a beautiful woman to juggle between looking good and not running off her mouth like a retard. Many local celebrities lack communication and language skills and often say the most embarrassing things unintentionally. For example, years ago, when Siti Nurhaliza was asked at a radio show which was her favorite body feature, she said “My nipples”. Of course what she meant was dimples

Back to the article Amber Chia was featured in, Amber was asked to talk about her RM2million home in Old Klang Road. Truth being told, I’ve seen way more beautiful houses, or either the photographer purposely took ugly angles of her interior. I also felt that the article was written in a rather crude way which came across to me as cynically humorous. The writer seemed to have quoted Amber without editing her vocabulary and tenses. The quotes that were put into the article seemed to have conspicuously mocked her intelligence “literally”! Here are some of the excerpts

She says….

“ I have looked at many different properties in the Old Klang Road. I am an expert on property developments in this neighbourhood. I know of all the developers since I have surveyed about 50 properties here” wow.. fifty houses sure makes u a self-proclaimed expert Amber, well done!

“I will soon air-condition by balcony to turn it into my study. I think I will be the first one in Malaysia. You think I should use V-Kool to laminate to cover the glass roof? When I visited a friend in London, his balcony was enclosed in glass. It was so nice to sit there.” Eh? I Thought u were an expert in properties? Surely you know people in Malaysia have turned balconies into studies decades ago? Sorry for burst your bubble but you won’t be the first…And by the way, London is cold so it is necessary to enclose your balcony if you choose to hang out in it my dear.

“My room is very me…If you come into my room, you will know I am a model.” Wow.. models room got difference wan ar??

“When the lawn turned brown while I was away, he replaced the grass for me. The important thing is the service” hmmm, seriously, seriously?

The writer’s punch line….

“with such a stylish home in Amber’s eyes, she prefers to stay home….” Yes I agree, in Amber’s eyes and her eyes only!

“She also particularly fancies her double-volume ceiling in her living room where a gigantic poster of her cannot be ignored even if guests close their eyes” Hahahahaha… talk about narcissism aye?

Sigh… I wonder if it even came across Amber’s mind that she was being ridiculed in her interview. Betcha she only checked to see if the pictures along with the article did her pretty face any justice. I can’t really blame the writer. I’ve met Amber Chia before at events I used to work for, mind you, she’s either too blur for her own good or dreadfully snobbish.

If there is one Malaysian celebrity whom I absolutely think is fantastic, it would be Daphne Iking. I’ve been an ardent reader of her blog. Her honesty and her ability to find humor out of her daily strides is entertaining and warm. Not to mention, she is a brilliant writer. She is down to earth, beautiful, vain, awkward  and yet au-naturrel, everything a beautiful woman could wish to be.

Although sex symbols are still advertising’s number one selling point, like advertising itself, it’s only a sales gimmick. Once a fad is out, it will be replaced by something else to charm consumers. Real beautiful women are women who are sold without having to advertise themselves or being coaxed into liking them. They are timeless. In fact, men these days don’t really think much of “bikini clad pin-up girls ” anymore.

So Amber, communication lessons perhaps? Your time’s running out…

To church or to not?

As usual, I get out of bed late, I am far from a early riser, and it is fine with me. Half the time, i miss morning mass, and tell myself that i will go for the evening one later, but fail to do so. I don't feel guilty at all. God understands, because he knows that instead, i do my little readings while having my breakfast at the restaurant downstairs from my apartment.

As what i've told phil before, a church is a man made constitution for a congregation. It's the same concept as identifying whether a house is a home. A building is called a church only when it's congregation feels the sense of belonging when they go there. Otherwise, it's a building despite what it might say on the outside. It doesn't matter if it prides itself to be a protestant church, a catholic church or insist that its a remnant church, it's only a church when people go there because they feel lost without going to it, not to fulfill their weekly obligations to God.

I was born and bred in a protestant church which i would consider a tad bit on a chauvinistic and extremist side. In the church i came from, we didn't eat unclean food (i.e; seafood, pork, coffee, alcohol, anything without parted hoofs). We also insisted that Saturday was the true sabbath and that it should be kept holy at any cost. Holy in the sense of omitting oneself from work, school, tv, or any recreational activities which did not include churchy stuff. When i was 10 years old, i was rejected to baptism which i had undergone months of bible study classes for because i attended biweekly extra classes at school. I was said to have failed to keep the sabbath holy. I was brought up in the mentality that i should just sit and believe that blessings with fall from the sky without even trying. Screw studies, screw friends... They won't lead me to heaven. 

My parents had always believed in the greatest gift God gave humans, which is free will. And therefore, they brought me to other churches and encouraged me to explore where i felt comfortable at. It was not easy, as my other church-members frowned upon my parents and me. As i grew older, i became the church pianist, perched a place on the youth council, and organised youth camps and choir practices. Somehow it never gave me the sense of belonging even with all the power given to me. I begun to see the politics that was in-church itself. And as i left Johor Bahru to come to KL for studies, i fell further apart from church.

I won't consider myself the prodigal daughter, that one day i will go back to my roots. I insist that it is important as parents to make sure that their children attend church regularly so that they can understand the importance of being spiritual, but they should also nurture their children to be able to judge from what is right and wrong and give them the choice to choose. 

JUst because i don't attend church regularly like many others, it does not mean i'm spiritually defect. In fact, i find myself more spiritually inclined as i spend time reading the bible and having God-and-myself's alone time. Spending time with God should not be restricted to Sabbaths alone. What's the point of being holier on certain days of the week only? If there's anything church-going teaches a person, it is discipline to be able to allocate that one day every week without fail for God, and nothing more. Blessings come from the Big Boss above in heaven, not from  a man preaching at the altar or the building we sit in. It is nice, i admit to be amongst the congregation and listen to the gospel, but the point i am trying to make here is just because your not physically in church during mass, it doesn't make u lesser of a Christian.

It is very rare for a born and bred protestant to attend the Catholic church, like myself, simple because protestants think that Catholics are too routine oriented and doctrine driven. While i may come across as minimally accurate to me, i love attending masses in the Catholic church because they do not force their ideas and teachings unto you like most protestant churches do. They are not indifferent flocks, they simply respect the fact that when one is ready, one will seek the truth himself, rather than to impose their values by force. 

If i were to liken the denominations of christianity to parenting styles, the catholic church will be my favorite. It has rules and values and rituals no doubt. But it doesn't force you to be part of it. It is like a parent who is ever ready to pick up a child who has fallen of its bike, but does not insist that he must use trainer wheels until he is perceived ready to ride without them.

Religion is something personal. And this is my personal take on it.

Muhibbah

Yesterday, the whole gang who went toPerhentian ( minus josil who's in Italy, Reena and Eric-who had too much to drink the previous night) did a i'm-hungry-feed-me hari raya lunch at Arness's house. It was a simple get-together session where Arness's family showed us first class hospitality by feeding us till our buttons or kerongsangs could pop!

We had tons of goodies on the table to munch on while eagerly waiting for the food. Laksa johor was the main course. And of course the ketupats and lemangs with awesome undeniable the best beef and chicken rendang i've ever had. The results- sleepy and satisfied like a python after its meal. 

It's been a couple of years for me since i've been to an open house for Hari Raya. Maybe because i hardly have many muslim friends, or Many friends to begin with.

And this was good. I enjoyed myself indulging in guilty pleasures of stuffing myself and compromising my waistline.

I guess despite everything that is going on in our country, it's nice to see that when the ministers accuse certain people in the public for causing racial tension, they are just trying to put the blame of their ineffectiveness as leaders on the civilian' backs. Technically, there is nothing wrong with the muhibbah situation in our country, what is wrong is the political system.

So, Selamat Hari Raya to all muslim dan muslimats