the BLAH point of life

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom in life even though you've been through worse before. It's just a point of life where nothing seems to be going your way and what exasperates you is that nothing is within your control. From wrong color choices of curtains to match your room wall, to couches that do not fit because you miscalculated the measurements, to a bed that just wont arrive, to a matteress that you know you can't afford even if the bed arrived, to a job which is fulfilling your aesthetic needs but not your pocket needs.

I knew this path would be tough, and i'm more than blessed to have so many people around handing me money whenever i need it. It's not like i'm on the brink of starvation, or luxury is compromised, but everything that i have today is on charity basis, and that can hurt the "self" quite a fair bit.

If there's one thing i pride myself for, it would be my achievements. And achievements can be from big to mundane items. From being able to achieve something big, up to being able to buy the damn vase that i had my eyes on for the longest time. But everything i have is charity. Not that i don't appreciate or need the charity, it's just that it would feel better if it came out of my very own pocket..

Sigh...no wonder there is a saying that charity workers are the ones who need the biggest charity.. I sadly fall in that category..