The little Rocker has arrived..

Zion Hendrix was born on the 27th March 2009. He has a full head of hair, has daddy's features, mama's will of fire and he is my Godson. 

I heard from MamaJo that he's been a good baby so far. Eat sleeps poops. Not fussy and always warm and snuggly. Haha..

I can't wait to go back to jb on friday to see the little gem

. 

This year, my life will be changed forever by three little men. Though i suspect it might be 4 instead of 3, its too early to say so yet. But to the three little men of my life, I pledge my love to you always!!!!!

Go Watch Talentime!!!!!!!

Yasmin Ahmad has done it again! Spectacular, amazing, heart wrenching, and a movie which has kept my thoughts haunted since last night till this very moment.

Yesterday, i dragged Bernard out for a movie which i knew he was reluctant to go to. For starters, Malaysian produced movies generally suck! They are weepy, redundant, same old story line, or as some has recently ventured, a total failure copy cat of Hollywood movies which makes me sick to my stomach by just watching the trailer itself.

Don't get me wrong. I do not just enjoy ANY Hollywood movies. In face, i love Warner Independent films and low budget movies with big impacts on issues that people are too shyed away from.

So, at the cinema, Bernard gives one last plunge to try and convince me to watch something else. I refused to budge, even tho i knew the last movie of my choice was an utter and total disaster which we walked out halfway off, after dozing of in the first half an hour itself. I stood in the ticket line, excited like a child waiting in turn for free cotton candy. I was peering up at the screens and thanking God for "Confessions of a Shopaholic" which came out on the same day as well as all the other shallow people standing in line muttering complains on how fast the "no-brainer" movie was selling out. I was happy. The status of the tickets on sale was still green. I giggled to myself, and i knew it was going to be good. I just knew it. 

In the cinema, i was shocked by how little support Malaysians gave Yasmin Ahmad. Yasmin Ahmad is like the Steven Spielberg of Malaysia and yet, a handful of people graced the third day the movie was launched. Sigh.. Bernard felt restless over the Malaysian ads being played before the movie started. If i didn't insist, he wouldn't be there, tho reluctantly. But i needed him to understand why i loved her films so much, and although i knew her movie would be slow, i knew he would love it..

I don't think i've sobbed this way before in any other movie. I have only cried in 5 movies to date. FIVE!!! First was Stepmom. Second was I am Sam, Third was Sepet, Fourth was Marley and Me ( i just cant stand seeing dogs die and not that the movie was great ), and Fifth was Talentime. From the beginning to the end, it was the ultimate film Yasmin Ahmad had ever produced and directed. 

For two and half hours, i was glued to the screen. Bernard and me didn't talk. We laughed, we teared, "I" sobbed, he smiled, We felt every emotion in the movie. It was simple, honest, bare and naked as the truth that surrounded us. The cast truly embraced the roles. The price of living the "muhibbah" dream was pricier to some more than the others.

If you have the time, if you are in Malaysia. If you are not a katak bawah tempurung, get out of the house and head to the nearest cinema. Take a plunge in "Talentime" and you will NOT regret it. DO it before it's too late, once you miss it, you will regret it. :)

Hello?

Where are You when i need You?

Its all about me

I believe that i have somehow fallen into the black hole of being in a comfort zone again. Without realising, i have somehow gotten a notch too comfortable with my pathetic routined expected daily life. There is only certainty in my life, no surprises or potholes. I pretty much know where i will end up or which street i'll take. Now don't get me wrong, i may like to consider myself as a planner, a controller of my own ocean and universe. Yet i adhere to everything people say. I am governed by rules, expectations, wants, and needs of those around me. I am not the master of myself. So the predictability of my actions are really not my own initiative or wants. I am predictable in a way where i will not resist what people want me to do. In simple words, i don't have an option of having my own opinion.

Today i did a personality test. Now i don't really know the credibility or validity of this test since it was formulated by a lecturer whom i know nothing off in  terms of reputation. But to my surprise, i was a controller, a seeker of greater heights and a activist who will constantly challenge the readily available solutions. How can i be all of these if the image i see in the mirror everyday is someone who my peers expects me to be, and not who i expect myself to be? I am beginning to believe that i have fallen into the comfort zone of ignoring my own expectations as a human being. I am not the fiery, passionate, energy-sodden young lady i once thought myself to be. I am no longer independent of myself and my own actions. I am shameful of everything i expect to achieve and somehow believe that at the expense of realising my dreams, i will be a selfish person to my loved ones.

I think i've reached a threshold in term of conformity. And to hell with those who don't understand what i'm trying to say in this piece, because i truly understand every word i'm typing now. I am being the most truthful i've ever been with myself right now. 

I want to travel, i want to be recognised for my achievements, albeit the amount that i can count with fingers on one hand, i want to travel, see the world, experience culture, pain, life, love, hopes and dreams of strangers i've never known all my life. I want to be sodden in a sea of uncertainties, and yet be certain that i will find something valuable out of it. I don't want money to govern my life, yet be free of the burden that the lack of money brings to myself. I want to have my way, and decide, and be free-spirited. I want changes and to give mundanity a one way ticket out of my life. I want to be appreciated, not only for what i am capable of, but also as the person that i am. I want to be serenaded by nature, by people. I want to be celebrated. I want to be able to do more than what i am doing now.

God's Greatest Creation?

How can we claim to be God's greatest creation?

When we don't even know the rest of his creations?

How can we claim to be God's greatest creation?

When we don't even share the same belief that we believe in one God?

How can we claim to be God's greatest creation?

When we destroy everything he has created?

How can we claim to be God's greatest creation?

When our creations are meant for mass destruction?

How can we claim to be God's greatest creation?

When we don't even protect his other creations?

How can we claim to be God's greatest creation?

When we try to be God ourselves?

I watched a documentary on the "Iron Wall" a couple of days ago. It is a documentary based on the Israel-Palestine conflict. I wouldn't call it a conflict actually, because it was more of an oppression. An oppression for the sake of revenge over events that happened in the A.D period itself. An oppression of the chosen people over the rightful land owners.

Judaism and Christianity are world apart. The major element is that we believe in salvation by the death of Christ for us, but since Jewish do not see Jesus as the Son of God, they are still waiting for salvation. Christians await the second coming of the Lord, Judgement day. Jewish are still waiting for the first coming...Many are confused by the Gaza conflict. Media portrays it as religious conflicts, Truth is, it has been and will always be Land conflict.

I am somewhat glad that we do not believe in the same God. Or rather, we have different opinions on what our God is like. Jews and Christians that is. Because, My God is a merciful God and I'd be ashamed to say that we came from the same stock. 

You may be the chosen ones. But you are not God's greatest creation...