Smell the Air at Masjid Jamek!

My journey to work is always almost never pleasant.

It starts with me walking to the bus stop, getting into an overcrowded bus, then waiting in line for at least 15 minutes to get squashed in an overcrowded lrt ( where i get queasy from the mixture of perfumes + body odor + lack of oxygen + bad breath ). When i reach Masjid Jamek, I battle frantically to get out of the train where people normally stand like statues even if they are obviously in your way.

Once i get out of the claustrophobic train and the claustrophobic underground lrt station, one may think that fresh air welcomes me after these ordeals. But if you've been around Masjid jamek, you'll understand that pollution and filth fills the air. I walk to office everyday from the lrt station. it takes me 7 minutes but i feel as though it is the longest 14 minutes of my everyday ( to and fro combined). Besides avoiding crazy drivers who appear as if they want to ram all the pedestrians down, i have to constantly clutch unto my bag to make sure that my belongings are safe. My biggest ordeal is constantly surveying the ground while i walk to work in case i step into a nest of cockroaches or have them conveniently run over my sleeve and into my pants ( biggest irrational fear) I'm bumped into things so many times because I'm more concerned of what I'm stepping (or going to run over my feet) on rather than what's ahead of me.

Well, luckily i love my job, so the torturous journey is compensated by my next 8 hours of fulfilment! Well, i wish that instead of DBKL painting over a whole 500 meters stretch of wall grafitti which is such a beautiful sight to behold in the Sg Gombak Drain which the lrt overlooks when you pass by Pasar Seni, and planting flowers along roads which wither off every 3 months and need to be replanted, You would think that they would actually have the sense to spend some tax money on pest control in the city's hub..

Well, thats too much to ask for isn't it? It's almost mentally challenging now... Just a thought....

Rainbows from Fay...



There's millions of cockroaches everywhere! (i hate cockroaches) i started doing a head count this week. Everyday i avoid approximately 23 (maximum) live cockroaches and 15 dead roaches. i've slipped and fell 3 times in the last 3 months.

What is your right to know?

I am an average person. With an average income, from an average family... living in a less than average country. You heard me right... to me, Malaysia is less that adequate, less than average. Oh please don't give me the bollocks about our tallest buildings and our GDP growth. Success and growth is something very subjective if we were to measure it. Some measure it by values and ethics, while others by figures.

Well, the subject which has led me to this train of thought is, how much, have we as a nation, experienced personal growth. Personal growth encompasses aspects like ethics, honor, dignity, values, compassion, justice, civility etc.. You know, the abstract stuff. So how much have we as human beings experienced growth which is fit to be measured up against our country's material growth???
This scenario was be likened to giving a monkey in a zoo a flower. The zoo represents our country, a comfortable, safe and much more high tech habitat compared to the jungle. The monkey with the flower, represents us. Just because the monkey lives in the zoo now, it doesn't necessarily means that he/she would appreciate the flower any much more than when she was living in the wild. Why is that? because, it's just a monkey which has not been trained to match up to the standards of the zoo. The monkey wasn't taught that when he is given something nice, he does not stamp on it, eat it, smash it like how it previously did while living in the wild.

I would like to liken the RELA unit of our country to the monkeys in the zoo who was given a flower. I can't think of a better comparison. With the rising amount of people in the country joining the RELA for that ego and power trip, we will all soon be like the monkeys in the zoo... enjoy this article... I swear.. it's quite hilarious.

With powers to crack down on illegal foreign workers, Rela, the People’s Voluntary Corp, is enjoying a new lease of life. But it has found itself in the news for the wrong reasons with its members being accused of beating up illegal workers, stealing from them and detaining legitimate foreign tourists. Rela director-general Datuk Zaidon Asmuni speaks to Sunday Staron the role of the voluntary body.

Rela was formed on Jan 11, 1972 after the May 13, 1969, incident. The Government felt Rela was one way to unite the rakyat alongside Rukun Tetangga and the National Unity Ministry. People of all races, both male and female, can be members of Rela.

These are excerpts from an interview done by The Star in June 2007 with Datuk Zaidon Asmuni, the Director-General of RELA. The link to the full article is at the end of the page:

What is Rela's strength?

We have 475,000 members. One hundred thousand are very active, which means that if we just call, 100,000 will easily turn up.

How does one join Rela?

It's simple. Any citizen aged 16 can apply to become a Rela member.

Do Rela officers have to be in uniform for their operations?

The police have their uniform but they seldom wear it in a (covert) operation. It's the same with Rela. In a group of 100 Rela volunteers, maybe 10 will be in plain clothes. If we all go in wearing the Rela uniform, the foreign illegal workers will run away.

So normally we ask 10 or 15 in plain clothes to go in first. Then, within half an hour, we cordon off the place. In an operation of 100 men, only one or two are officers and carry guns. The rest are armed with a chota. We give them a stick or two to protect themselves against attacks from immigrants. There have been a few incidents but not very serious ones...... (cont.)

There have been a number of cases of abuse and Rela members stealing and hitting detainees.

To me, the number of abuses is very small compared to the number of operations. I have found the walloping of illegal workers is actually in response to something that happened. If they give full co-operation when we go into a rumah kongsi, I don't think the Rela members will start hitting them "for fun".

But the tendency is for the illegal workers to start climbing out the windows and up the roof to escape. This makes Rela members angry. Sometimes it is the legal foreign workers or employers who get angry. They scold us, question the Rela powers and threaten to call the police.

The Rela members are just ordinary people. Threatening them with the police and questioning their powers make them angry ...(cont.)

What kind of training is provided for Rela members?

First they have to be registered members. We have a 10-day basic training course. We want to make it compulsory but with 475,000 members, we can only cater for 150 or 200 at one time. So they learn from the operations.

Does Rela check the background of members?

We don't do that now because we want to encourage people to join us. If a person has a bad record, then we won't take him and may send his name to the police. If we send in 475,000 names for the police to check, it would be too time-consuming. They have other more pressing priorities.

What about the case of the Indian film crew member Rela detained that got the Tourism Minister all riled up?

The Indian crew member was walking through Petaling Street at 9.30pm. If it's a Mat Salleh (Caucasian), it would be easy because we would know he is a tourist for sure. But for others, we have to check. Under the law, all foreigners have to carry their passport or travel document with them all the time... (cont.)

Rela has been criticised for being insensitive to human rights. There was even a call for it to be disbanded.

No way! Just because of one or two naughty members, surely we are not going to disband Rela. If a policeman robs, you charge him. You do not disband the police force for one person's abuse. For Rela, if a member abuses his power, I will sack him. But the others can carry on.

Since late last year, we have been working very closely with Suhakam and they have held talks with Rela members and officers. It's good because at least we have knowledge on basic human rights. But which one do you want? Security or human rights? If we can, of course we want both.

....

The link to the full article is here: http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2007/6/10/focus/17923818&sec=focus

Much Ado About Nothing

My last few weeks have been a roller coaster... From work at its peak of "i have no time to eat" busyness ( if there's such a word ), to suffering an episode of food poisoning, to spending a huge fraction of my paycheck on a pair on jeans i don't fancy enough to have paid for its price tag, to dealing with family issues and personal issues.
Why is it that people are narcissistic? In that i mean myself included of course. When things sway away from perfection, we always feel like no one in the world could feel the way we feel at that moment. Sure there's people starving and children dying and plants and animals losing their habitats, but nooo....nothing else seems bigger than our problems.
I've realised that it all comes to coping strategies. No this is not a psychology preaching session but it's however true. And i can find no other way to explain this better. Many of us have different thresholds of pain. While physical pain can be explained ( the number of receptors amounts to the pain we feel ), emotional pain cannot be explained through chemical compounds. The ability to cope with a situation and having a level head is easier said than done. It has to be practised, which practically means (you need to go through alot of shit in life to be immuned to it).
I am an only child. Instead of counting my blessings, I've always reverberated the fact that all eyes and responsibilities fall on me, myself and I. I have a pattern or rather, a habit of using self-pity to explain my actions and use anger to deal with situations i cannot use the former to deal with. When i realised that my mum developed symptoms of Alzheimer's last year, i was strickened by fear. I kept telling myself to be nicer and have more patience. it wasn't difficult to be more patient, but the more patient i was the more the fact sinked in that the situation was for real. There was no way of repairing the situation or reversing it to the way it was, there was just accepting it and living with it. it wasn't something normal for me. Hence i gave up being nice. because it was just too painful. So i reverted back into self pity and hoped that through this, i would look like the victim here. That if i used anger to cope with the fear, instead of embracing it, i would not be frowned upon. Up till last week, stress got hold of me by my balls ( if i had any) and my whole world fell apart. i found it easier to explain why i felt that way if i blamed everyone else but myself. I blamed my mother for not paying attention to what i said, hence repeating the same question 5 times in a 15 minutes conversation. I blamed my father for being in denial of my mother's situation. I blamed Bernard for not being sensitive enough to the way i feel and kept himself busy on the computer instead of sitting me down and consoling me, i blamed money for being the issue where i couldnt spend more time with my parents.... Yes i felt as though the world revolved around me and that i was the only sad soul in this sickeningly jolly world.
When i woke up from the blaming game, grieve filled my could worse than i could have ever imagined it. And i realised that, learning psychology doesn't necessarily mean i could apply it. And i have been blaming all my life i've gotten used to shrink off all responsibilities of being a normal healthy person.

I've a resolution. I decided that i would at least try my best to stop the blaming game so that i could feel more at ease with my own actions. i decided to be more sensitive and take into account that the world does NOT revolve around me... It's hard... But i'm trying.. A bit too late? Well, at least i'm starting...

Behind Every Successful Man is a Woman

Women seem to be stepping out of the shadows of their men in recent events. For example, i was ironing my clothes while watching the news yesterday and a thought stuck me. Hillary Clinton. When did she take the limelight? Wan Azizah. People are still raving over her, not her husband, after PKR's success in the recent general elections. Fallen political figures have had their wives taken over their roles in the public arena. A strategy? to reclaim their power through a different approach? I wonder what is the true cause behind these women's fame all of a sudden. Is it because their husbands can no longer tug the heartstrings of the public and therefore their wives are sent out to do the job? Afterall, women do empathise better and are therefore more wholesome effective leaders as shown by research. However, during Anwar's and Bill Clinton's reign, their wives were constantly behind their backs, supporting and running errands in regards of their public appearances. Now that their wives have taken over their roles, where are these men? So what is it actually? Women are proving to perform better as leaders? Women are better leaders to bet on because they are better mediators? Or is it just for a simple reason that Women can outshine men if given an opportunity ( in politics per say). Generally, educated and notable political figures are said to marry a woman of equal status quo and intelligence. What about normal laymen? I've heard tons of stories where good educated men would consider a dumb blonde as a perfect mate. They do not appreciate being questioned, after all, the more successful a men, the larger the ego. I guess we can say the same goes for politicians. They have a strategy. While they're at their prime, the wives take the back seat and play the role of a Dumb blonde. When they're losing their hold, the wives come out to save the day. Truth is, women aren't dumb after all. There's no dumb blonde. Even dumb blondes are smart, because they play their cards well and act how their man would prefer them to. Women are good actors when it comes to keeping their man. Soothing their egos for now goes a long way. Politicians or not, truth is, not many successful men can handle their women to appear strong. They should only appear strong in defense of their husband's innocence of commiting an affair or being charged with corruption. But in other matters, sit back and wait till the last minute of their husband's breaking point, and then step out of the shadow to save the day!

In Response to Ophelia's Blog

One of my favorite quick sneak away from work is reading up my friend's blogs. ( it only takes a few minutes so boo you, bite me!) It's interesting because Knowing them for so long, and cohabitating with some of them, it is always nice to read up the things they have to say, knowing that we no longer have the luxury of picking up the phone or chatting over coffee, due to distance and the lack of time. Reading a friend's blog is the best way to keep in touch in a spiritual way....So bless the person who made blogging a hype!

I was reading something Ophelia wrote regarding how she has changed over the years. Though i'd add my bit too... Haha... One thing i thought i'd add was the things i see 20 yr olds doing now that i never did then, or would ever do now.

When i was 20....
1. I wore bell bottoms and slinky tops, clubbing was a weekend ritual
2. I had my clique in college and considered my bunch to be the cool bunch
3. I danced with any tom, dick or Harry at clubs, drank till i dropped off chairs ( cheap ladies
nite liquor)
4. I was 52kgs, and i thought i was quite thin
5. I talked alot, loved meeting new people and making new friends
6. I was still embarassed to reveal to my friends i was not celibate
7. I thought i'd get married at 25 and have a kid by 30
8. I wanted to wear power suits, work in a nice corporate company and be somebody's boss
9. I constantly criticised people sense of style
10. I had no regards for safety and did whatever i wanted to do ( e.g; walking down lonely Jalan Batai at 3am to go to 7-Eleven )

Today....
1. When people tell me they're still celibate, cz they haven't had sex but have done everything else, i feel like choking them
2. I don't club ( arghh the smoke and the Loud music! ), i don't binge drink ( i'd prefer sipping cognac or wine), and i can't dance to save my life anymore
3. I don't like meeting new random people, starting a conversation from scratch is too troublesome, and forcing myself to not analyze the root behind their stupidity and lame conversations is not something i look forward to.
4. I hear people talking in the lrt and instantly pick up if they're still in high school or not...
5. I'm 25 and i'm still far from ready to say "i do"
6. I hung up my power suits neatly in my cupboard, and traded my glamorous job for a job as a social worker.
7. I'm 46kgs, but i think i'm fat
8. Everywhere is going downsouth, boobs, butt, cheeks... triceps....
9. I have matured conversations, regarding work, politics, human rights, theories! (oh gosh)
10. I don't have much friends to hang out with everyday, and i'm liking it
11. I sleep before 12am, and take the train to work
12. I start my sentences with, "During MY time,we never........."

Things young punks do these days, that i'l never in my wildest dreams do....
1. 16 yr olds carrying Gucci and LVs to school and college
2. Use "fuck" as an adjective of every word
3. Have multiple sex partners
4. Have bimbo talks and walk the Bimbo life ( thanks to Paris Hilton)
5. Walk in public Braless ( they'll regret it when they're 25)